Your Partner is Necessary in Helping to Open Doors

For each door that seemed to close because of a partner's opportunity, in reality, another great one appeared

I was pleased to read this wonderful piece my son, Chris, wrote and published on Linked In.

He writes about his life partner, Michele, and their deep, committed, long-term relationship. He emphasizes their emotional connection and promise.

Someone to rely on.

He further underlines the need for flexibility in defining a relationship.

Chris begins . . .

Those who know me know I'm deeply passionate about marketing, especially for brands and products I believe in. And my career chasing those brands wouldn't have been possible without my partner, Michele Schiele.

Michele is a leader on the Stanford University development team. She has had similar leadership roles at the University of Chicago, driven various industry groups, published research, and currently serves on the board of her high school.

So she’s had a decent career :)

And I like to think I’ve had a decent career.

One of the things I'm most proud of is that we’ve both been able to have decent careers.

When I think about how we've made it work, and raising two boys, it boils down to:

👉 Partner on the little things. We’ve never lived in either of our hometowns nor had family close by, but we’ve found a system that works for us: relying on close friends for those holiday moments, dividing household tasks, and attending school events. I think we’re like a lot of couples here, balancing craziness, making it work.

👉 Partner on the big things. This is where it gets really tricky when a dream job comes along, and you have to find a way to prioritize one career without compromising the other.

Early on in our careers, I got the chance to work at DDB Chicago, a top agency in a city we’d never even visited. At the time, Michele had a great fundraising job in Washington, DC. Yet she packed that up, left to join me in Chicago and found a job in a place where she knew no one (and it was pretty cold).

Fast forward 8 years and my boss, the amazing Alan Feldenkris, lands a job at AOL (THE place to be) and offers me a role in San Francisco. Another place we’ve never lived, with no family. So Michele convinces her boss to let her work remotely (novel then), so I can take that job, and she does that for 4 years, working Chicago hours while having our first child.

Then it’s my turn. Michele gets a leadership role at UChicago, so we head back. I resigned from a cool gig in SF and look to opportunities in Chicago. The problem was, I was an internet guy, and Chicago wasn’t (yet) an internet place. Amazingly, I found a great role leading marketing at the business school there, working for world-class dean Edward A. Snyder and getting to rename that 110+ year-old school.

And then Michele gets the Stanford offer (WOW!). I have no job when we resign, but somehow I get an interview at Google. Then 12 more interviews. And land a job doing amazing work with amazing people.

All of this sounds WAY easier than it was. Each of these was a hand-wringing decision. Too often, the burden to adjust falls on the female. While we haven’t been perfect, we’ve been pretty balanced. And most importantly, the opportunities for Michele have opened up growth opportunities for me (and vice versa). For each door that seemed to close because of a partner's opportunity, in reality, another great one appeared.

Thank you, Chris and Michele. Demonstrating your commitment implies a desire for permanence and a future together to which we all should aspire.

Ed here . . . I love these lyrics to Johnny Mercer’s song Two of a Kind sung here by Johnny nd Bobby Darin

We're two of a kind
We like workin' single
Or workin' in twos
Keep us in mind, give us a jingle, we've got taps on our shoes
(We'll dance!)
We're both of us like, the Tower of Pisa
I'm-a lean-a like he's-a inclined
Because we're two of a kind
Because we're
Two of a kind