Even as a young kid, I struggled to get rid of small things, because I knew I was leaving a memory behind in each thing I passed on. I guess a part of life is paring our own stories down into the parts that others might find useful. But it is painful.
I recall appreciated this piece. We are now engaged in the same process. My Swedish wife knows this as ‘Swedish death cleaning’. Those ‘no nonsense’ Swedes waste no words.
Thanks so much for this and it could not have come at a more appropriate time as my brother and I travel to Austria, where an apartment full of memories awaits. This perspective is not only useful but comforting, and we will seek to apply much of the process that you describe. Thank you for being our stuff dealing guide.
Fortunately I wanted a few items from my parents home.
These included an old and very interesting knife sharpener, some poems in Italian, authored by my father, a single old fork and a very old, hand made kitchen cabinet that had been painted with a colored paint. This latter item I returned it to its natural wood finish.
Thanks, Ed, for sharing your experience with an inevitability we all will face or have faced. Memories. Simon & Garfunkel said that is all we are left with - if we are lucky. It is not guaranteed that we will always have them. My mom outlived my dad by 13 years, but before she passed she and I, her only child, sat for many hours on several occasions sorting out her possessions and allocating them among her many nieces and nephews. The list shifted as the process went forward, but in the end, it made it easier to us to deal with the tough decisions. My dad was a carver of duck decoys, maker of chess boards, and furniture - and those were passed along to family and friends. So the memories of them are safely ensconced in homes around the country. Now, as for our own belongings, that is a whole different ball of wax, yet to be confronted. Ron
How timely. Yesterday I finally started cleaning out mom's bureau that she brought with her when she moved in with me. She's been gone for several years. I called Paul for consolation and he gave me advise and I listened, Not easy. She also brought her huge china closet with her and all her treasures are in it. I have already put stickers on those items my grandchildren say they want. Convincing them to take it is another story. Anthony and I are trying to unclutter so our children won't be too burdened. Sad what challenges old age brings. Helene
Yes, Helen, they are difficult challenges. We found that every piece, every touch had a memory. I don't envy your decisions. But treasure your memories. Oh, one other thing. There is little the kids want, so don't be disappointed when they say, "No thanks, Mom."
The operative word is “Stuff”. I just sold my house and it breaks my heart to think of all the stuff I have. It is not easy to get rid of old memories. I want to keep everything. Building a smaller house and I know I do not have room for all. I packed mostly everything in anticipation of a new home. I will have to decide when I unpack what to keep. Delayed agony.
Yes, Tom, that was my second time this year. I'll let you know the next time. I will speak about the first Italians who came to Rhode Island. It will be at one of the libraries.
Ed, sad, a day or days you would never think would come on those so many happy and fun full days of the family gatherings. You as many of us find comfort in keeping precious things that touched our parents' life. Ed, thanks for sharing the precious photos of items your parents used every day and surely it brings comfort to gaze and touch.
Wow, I know how you feel, Ed. I grew up with my Parents and Grandparents in the same house on
Home Ave. After both my Grandparents passed my parents sold the house, in May of 1998. My Mom passed first and then Dad in 2015. I ,of course ,wanted to keep everything! My whole family thinks I'm nuts.
All the memories! I kept a little wooden Browne and Sharpe box (my Grandfather worked there), my
Grandmother's bookcase (I'm looking at it right now), tons of things that remind me of Mom and Dad... My wife keeps saying, " after we retire and move, we can't take most of this stuff with us"
Oh my God, what a sweet, sad story. I wanted everything my father put his hands on when he passed away.
You probably needed a warehouse . . .
True 😂
Even as a young kid, I struggled to get rid of small things, because I knew I was leaving a memory behind in each thing I passed on. I guess a part of life is paring our own stories down into the parts that others might find useful. But it is painful.
Yup, not easy
I recall appreciated this piece. We are now engaged in the same process. My Swedish wife knows this as ‘Swedish death cleaning’. Those ‘no nonsense’ Swedes waste no words.
Ah, treasure The Swede, Roger
Thanks so much for this and it could not have come at a more appropriate time as my brother and I travel to Austria, where an apartment full of memories awaits. This perspective is not only useful but comforting, and we will seek to apply much of the process that you describe. Thank you for being our stuff dealing guide.
Thank you, Christian. Not an easy task. Is there a reason why you closing the apartment?
My pleasure to have you see all his poems that I have.
Call me …245-6375.
Fortunately I wanted a few items from my parents home.
These included an old and very interesting knife sharpener, some poems in Italian, authored by my father, a single old fork and a very old, hand made kitchen cabinet that had been painted with a colored paint. This latter item I returned it to its natural wood finish.
The poems by your father are intriguing, Joe. Want to share?
My pleasure to have you see my dad’s poems!
If you want to copy them…great.
Call 245-6375.
Loving article brings back many happy memoirs
Yes, Mike, everybody's story and not easy. Thanks for your note.
Thanks, Ed, for sharing your experience with an inevitability we all will face or have faced. Memories. Simon & Garfunkel said that is all we are left with - if we are lucky. It is not guaranteed that we will always have them. My mom outlived my dad by 13 years, but before she passed she and I, her only child, sat for many hours on several occasions sorting out her possessions and allocating them among her many nieces and nephews. The list shifted as the process went forward, but in the end, it made it easier to us to deal with the tough decisions. My dad was a carver of duck decoys, maker of chess boards, and furniture - and those were passed along to family and friends. So the memories of them are safely ensconced in homes around the country. Now, as for our own belongings, that is a whole different ball of wax, yet to be confronted. Ron
Excellent, Ron. A clairvoyant Mom. Treasure those treasures.
How timely. Yesterday I finally started cleaning out mom's bureau that she brought with her when she moved in with me. She's been gone for several years. I called Paul for consolation and he gave me advise and I listened, Not easy. She also brought her huge china closet with her and all her treasures are in it. I have already put stickers on those items my grandchildren say they want. Convincing them to take it is another story. Anthony and I are trying to unclutter so our children won't be too burdened. Sad what challenges old age brings. Helene
Yes, Helen, they are difficult challenges. We found that every piece, every touch had a memory. I don't envy your decisions. But treasure your memories. Oh, one other thing. There is little the kids want, so don't be disappointed when they say, "No thanks, Mom."
The operative word is “Stuff”. I just sold my house and it breaks my heart to think of all the stuff I have. It is not easy to get rid of old memories. I want to keep everything. Building a smaller house and I know I do not have room for all. I packed mostly everything in anticipation of a new home. I will have to decide when I unpack what to keep. Delayed agony.
Yes, but you will get there. Trust me.
Thank you, I will look forward to it!
Thanks! Noticed you were at URI recently, hopefully you will speak there again, someday?
I would like to hear you speak
Yes, Tom, that was my second time this year. I'll let you know the next time. I will speak about the first Italians who came to Rhode Island. It will be at one of the libraries.
Ed, sad, a day or days you would never think would come on those so many happy and fun full days of the family gatherings. You as many of us find comfort in keeping precious things that touched our parents' life. Ed, thanks for sharing the precious photos of items your parents used every day and surely it brings comfort to gaze and touch.
Yes, Peter, sad, but you are correct; the treasures bring comfort.
Incredible, I'm doing this now !!!! We will keep all family pictures and some jewelry. Clothes will be recycled.
But you are so correct when you stated items we never take notice of are now looked at like treasures.
They are treasures, Gino.
Wow, I know how you feel, Ed. I grew up with my Parents and Grandparents in the same house on
Home Ave. After both my Grandparents passed my parents sold the house, in May of 1998. My Mom passed first and then Dad in 2015. I ,of course ,wanted to keep everything! My whole family thinks I'm nuts.
All the memories! I kept a little wooden Browne and Sharpe box (my Grandfather worked there), my
Grandmother's bookcase (I'm looking at it right now), tons of things that remind me of Mom and Dad... My wife keeps saying, " after we retire and move, we can't take most of this stuff with us"
She is right, I guess....
Thanks, Tom. It's difficult to leave stuff behind. Every touch is a cherished memory. Good luck.
Great story of a challenging and necessary task that resurrects cherished reminiscences of our past.
Yes, Mary. resurrected and ongoing
an emotional read. you have a way of expressing thoughts most of us can't put into words.
Thanks
Thank you, Bob. Nostalgia.