Well said, as always, Ed. I agree with every word. But in today's world of medicine, where my primary care physician is obviously "on the clock" and his "primary" responsibility seems to be to know which specialist to refer me to, I'm afraid the kind of connection we all value is unlikely to materialize. My father was a "g.p.," a family doctor in the truest sense: his practice included multiple generations of the same family. (Some 90-year-olds still thought of him as "the young doctor." He retired in 1990. Medicine has made some remarkable, even miraculous, progress since then. But, although I wish I didn't have to say it, the healing that comes from personal connection has largely been lost.
The best time with patients is when we didn't have to rush. It changed when patients became clients vis. a vis. the insurance companies. In listening there is comfort. In comfort there is healing.
Agree completely Dr. I, during my years as a nurse at RIH, I absolutely loved my job, I also loved the team of nurses that I worked with. I was always, or tried very hard to be a hands on bedside nurse. The last five years I worked at RIH, were emotionally draining. Gone was the possibility to show patients that human touch. It had all been replaced by administration that did not get it, so to speak, and computers!! Those terrible computers. I retired after fifty years of nursing. When I have a loved one in the hospital now, I visit, and advocate. Everyone needs an advocate, even if they aren’t on the medical field.
Hi,Colleen. Thanks for weighing in. Unfortunately, it's a story I hear often as we move from personal care to technological care, with the technology taking caregivers away from their patients. Very sad.
I think we lived the glory days. I doubt they will return, but I haven't completely lost hope. My physician does NOT bring a computer into the examining room. How refreshing.
Thanks Ed! Reminded me how important it is to try to live in the moment all the time and with everyone. Even routine moments! And especially at moments when you have other things to do!
In all the time I have been reading your articles, this one has inspired quite a few responses - high quality, thoughtful ones at that. As always, you teach when you write.
Thank you, Ned. This experience stayed with me for a lifetime. So the more i thought about it, and it has been foe a while, the easier iit became to write. I learned.
You hit a nerve that resonates with me...as it did with other responses to your reflections. Knowing you, I can't believe you were that laconic. I value our friendship because I know who you are and you know who I am from our personal discussions. Reading those who are attracted to your weekly stories, I also know I'm in good company. Sometimes I think of myself as a vessel to be filled by what I filter and un-filter. I think we all learned what is important and what is detrimental. Regarding physicians, my rule of thumb is finding a doctor who walks into the examination room thirty minutes late (or more), because that doctor is not concerned about meeting his or her quota, but spending time to know the patient. There are some wonderful movies about doctors and hospitals that I think all of us cherish, because we want hospitals and doctors to be humanitarians when we're most vulnerable.
This one really hit home. Since I retired from my Dental practice, I find myself continually thinking about my former patients. Some of which I got to know quite well but too many others I should have known better.
. In our professions it is easy to get caught up in the notion of "let's get this procedure done because we have another waiting." Now that we have the time to reflect on that, unfortunately it's too late.
I can relate deeply to this one. Until recently I was on the Ministry and Counsel Committee of my Quaker meeting. One of our jobs was to have Memorial Minutes written for Friends who had passed. Time after time we were shocked to find out some of the history of people we thought we knew well. For example, we found that one of our “little old ladies” had participated in the civil rights lunch counter sit ins in Greensboro NC. Another man was an accomplished astronomer.
You’d think we would learn to probe more deeply during life but we don’t.
To hear and not listen is a fault in many of us. I'm sure that he was pleased with your care and the interest you had in him. In some way the obituary made it complete or almost for you.
Well said, as always, Ed. I agree with every word. But in today's world of medicine, where my primary care physician is obviously "on the clock" and his "primary" responsibility seems to be to know which specialist to refer me to, I'm afraid the kind of connection we all value is unlikely to materialize. My father was a "g.p.," a family doctor in the truest sense: his practice included multiple generations of the same family. (Some 90-year-olds still thought of him as "the young doctor." He retired in 1990. Medicine has made some remarkable, even miraculous, progress since then. But, although I wish I didn't have to say it, the healing that comes from personal connection has largely been lost.
The best time with patients is when we didn't have to rush. It changed when patients became clients vis. a vis. the insurance companies. In listening there is comfort. In comfort there is healing.
Agree completely Dr. I, during my years as a nurse at RIH, I absolutely loved my job, I also loved the team of nurses that I worked with. I was always, or tried very hard to be a hands on bedside nurse. The last five years I worked at RIH, were emotionally draining. Gone was the possibility to show patients that human touch. It had all been replaced by administration that did not get it, so to speak, and computers!! Those terrible computers. I retired after fifty years of nursing. When I have a loved one in the hospital now, I visit, and advocate. Everyone needs an advocate, even if they aren’t on the medical field.
Hi,Colleen. Thanks for weighing in. Unfortunately, it's a story I hear often as we move from personal care to technological care, with the technology taking caregivers away from their patients. Very sad.
I think we lived the glory days. I doubt they will return, but I haven't completely lost hope. My physician does NOT bring a computer into the examining room. How refreshing.
Thanks Ed! Reminded me how important it is to try to live in the moment all the time and with everyone. Even routine moments! And especially at moments when you have other things to do!
Jim, I cannot agree more. I think you would enjoy Brooks' book
Excellent piece, Ed
Thank you, Scott.
Dear Ed,
In all the time I have been reading your articles, this one has inspired quite a few responses - high quality, thoughtful ones at that. As always, you teach when you write.
Ned
Thank you, Ned. This experience stayed with me for a lifetime. So the more i thought about it, and it has been foe a while, the easier iit became to write. I learned.
And I see that many share the same.
I'm honored by your thoughtful comment.
You hit a nerve that resonates with me...as it did with other responses to your reflections. Knowing you, I can't believe you were that laconic. I value our friendship because I know who you are and you know who I am from our personal discussions. Reading those who are attracted to your weekly stories, I also know I'm in good company. Sometimes I think of myself as a vessel to be filled by what I filter and un-filter. I think we all learned what is important and what is detrimental. Regarding physicians, my rule of thumb is finding a doctor who walks into the examination room thirty minutes late (or more), because that doctor is not concerned about meeting his or her quota, but spending time to know the patient. There are some wonderful movies about doctors and hospitals that I think all of us cherish, because we want hospitals and doctors to be humanitarians when we're most vulnerable.
Thank you, Larry. It's a lesson I learned and worked hard to maintain it with all the time constraints.
Well, well, someone who doesn't mind a tardy doc. Bravo!
This one really hit home. Since I retired from my Dental practice, I find myself continually thinking about my former patients. Some of which I got to know quite well but too many others I should have known better.
. In our professions it is easy to get caught up in the notion of "let's get this procedure done because we have another waiting." Now that we have the time to reflect on that, unfortunately it's too late.
Exactly, Jack. I'd like a few more chances, a few more questions amd lots more time with patients. The dilemma we faced every day.
I can relate deeply to this one. Until recently I was on the Ministry and Counsel Committee of my Quaker meeting. One of our jobs was to have Memorial Minutes written for Friends who had passed. Time after time we were shocked to find out some of the history of people we thought we knew well. For example, we found that one of our “little old ladies” had participated in the civil rights lunch counter sit ins in Greensboro NC. Another man was an accomplished astronomer.
You’d think we would learn to probe more deeply during life but we don’t.
Yuh, we get caught in the frenzy of the day. You'll appreciate Davd Brooks' book.
To hear and not listen is a fault in many of us. I'm sure that he was pleased with your care and the interest you had in him. In some way the obituary made it complete or almost for you.
Yes, Peter, you are correct. Hearing and listening are very different. Too often frenzy controls us.
Spot on
Thanks, Dick.
Thanks for sharing this important and practical insight. I'm taking this to heart.
Thanks, Dave.