What an interesting story, and bravely told. I recall similar family gatherings, including a family reunion with eight-plus attending. When I was a child, such gatherings were a time to seek attention without noticing anyone. As an adolescent, I developed my cynicism watching and listening to every action or comment to expose foibles. As a young adult, I learned the art of politics to navigate such situations...absorbing what was done and said without judgement, but appreciating the diversity within my family. Whatever social skills I possess grew out of the dynamics of family gatherings and applied them to my current social network. Your writings unearth long forgotten and/or repressed memories that reminds us how we became who we are.
Ben scritto, we'll written. When I was a kid, Larry, I was fascinated by the characters, never realizing until so many years later, their courage and what they did to give us our opportunities. I too learned by observation. I'm pleased I unearthed some memories for you. It sounds like they were good ones by the end product.
What an utter joy to read your latest on old days visits. Yes, we had many visits with neighbors, relatives, friends, all “recent Old Country “ storytellers!
People walked then, even if it took 20 or 30 minutes to visit. What memories I have!
That house was beautiful but yes, I understand the need for downsizing….it’s just easier. Thank you for offering to send your books. I’m sure I’ll love them because I really enjoy your writing style. And yes, please send your schedule….It would be fun to see you live!
My email is melinajbalboni@gmail.com and my address is 310 Palisades Circle, Stoughton, Ma 02072. Looking forward to receiving more of your perspectives!
In my Brooklyn youth, Granma made tons of meatballs, along with "gravy" (not sauce!) and meatballs. The visitors brought the cannoli, pastaciotte, and sfogliatelle. There were Cumagenni, Margaret Bull (short for her last name, but she did look like one.), Cockeye Louie...and a cast of delightful others. Ah, my cherished childhood. Thanks for there memories, Ed.❤️
Ed, this lunch bunch article is just as sweet and poignant as the one you wrote about visits. Despite the changes in our appearances or memories, how lucky are we to even be able to do this? I thank the good Lord every day for the ability to get up, have breakfast with my husband, meet a friend for lunch and to reminisce about the wonders of the past.....with an eye toward the future in the hope that there will always be morsels of positivity. Thanks for sharing.
On an unrelated note, I'm not sure if you recall, but my husband and I met you during a walk in Bristol looking for a store get some nice vino, and you were on your porch and gave us directions. You also gave us your book: Whatever happened to Sunday dinner. I still have it and keep it on our coffee table to remind my family of that value and that they pass it on to future generations. So, thank you for that as well. God puts great people in our paths:)
Thanks for your wonderful comments and nice note, Melina. In addition to the breakfast/lunch gatherings, I try to connect with a friend every day.
Yes. I remember you both very well. Sadly, we've downsized from that beautiful home. A necessary rite of passage. Do I have your email? If not, email me your home address and I'll send you my latest books.
I'll also give you a schedule of my presentations. Perhaps you might get to one. A presto.
Another great piece! Brings back memories of growing up in an Italian American family, and the relatives and friends that visited my Nonna. I belong to a Facebook Group called Growing Up
Italian, and I'm always amazed at how member's childhood experiences were so similar to mine.
Sadly, those times are gone...the world is a different place today.
There are so many who share our stories and our great Italian heritage. We should be so proud of it and be sure to sing its praises, especially those our forefathers taught us, Joanne.
Ed, it was September of 1972, and I was running for a school committee seat in a close race. People came voted and left and in came a very elderly man holding onto the door jams before entering to vote and shouted out tutti Italian and not knowing Italian shame on me. I knew enough that I had a sure vote and won in a close race.
That reminds me of a visitor to my house when I was a child. She too was always in black and lived a walking distance from our house. My mother called her Maria Juan she spoke Italian only, so the conversations I did not understand. She was a very small in stature, not a big woman. She had a very high pitched speaking voice and rather soft spoken. My mom used to make a cup of coffee for her and had something sweet to go along with it. She raised chickens and I remember when she finished and was ready to leave, she stood and would reach into her pockets and pulled out 2 or 3 eggs and put them on the table.
And if you're going to get pastry....better get sfogliatelle! (The ones you've pictured in this great article.) Growing up Italian in this country really made this so relatable. I grew up in a triple decker ....above a fruit store (talk about stink....might be close to your smelly, demonic uncle!).
Your article brought back so many distinct memories and wonderful visits that also happened at my house. You really summed it up perfectly when you wrote: "Consumerism has driven people from their neighbors. Personal lifestyles take precedence over community connections. Families look after their affairs with less concern for their neighbors."
Sadly, it's true, but like you, Ed, I have hope. I think we all long for a time when "just talking and eating pastries" with friends is not only enough, but necessary. It strengthens our connections and gives us tolerance......something that is nearly off the radar now. Thank you for reminding us all to simply, visit!
Thanks for this excellent and perceptive note, Melina. I too have hope that some way, somehow, we may return to the neighborhood visit. We'll see. I wrote about having lunch, coffee, or anything with friends. Call a friend every day. It's not the neighborhood visit in the home but, who knows, it may grow to that. Here's the one I wrote of lunching with friends which you reference as a way to maintain our strengths of community.
Ed, So much of what you say in your story is true and poignant. It is sad that as our society has evolved from those early days, it has seemingly moved on from many of the attributes that indeared them to each other; unnanounced visits by friends or neighbors just to say hi or share their concerns and worries. In those days, people relied on the help and suupport of their friends and neighbors to navigate their way through a myriad of new adventures and problems. In todays world our society too often is fractured and seperated from family and friends, by both distance and or time constraints. Everything today seems to move at 'warp speed' with little time to 'smell the roses'. As a result, so much richness to our lives is being lost. JC Yuill
John, you said it perfectly. . . . endearing attributes lost, sharing concerns and worries, relying on each other for help and support. But most of all so much richness to our lives is being lost
Thank you, Ed. The commonality between our respective childhoods is striking. I found your summation of today's lack of community sadly on point. My immediate family is widely scattered: son in Oregon, brother in Iowa, brother in Illinois. Makes stopping by a real challenge. Again, thanks very much. David Brooks constantly reminds us of the very same lack of community.
Great story Ed. Remind me of my childhood as well. In many ways, my immediate family has maintained some of this behavior, but your correct. We used to live in neighborhoods where you could visit easily, or simply talk out to your neighbor through your bedroom window. I agree, not likely that will return for many of us in the suburbs. I'd like to believe it still exist in the urban neighborhoods though.
Mike, I'm so pleased with your comments. Some say I live in the past, and in many instances I do. Yes, there were difficult times, but look how people came together. How refreshing. And safe.
Ed I have been meaning to connect with you. Are you familiar with Hamilton House on Angell Street? Have you ever presented there? I think you'd enjoy the venue. Let me know and I can connect you with the right person.
Another nostalgic masterpiece with all the familiar nuances. Your phonetic spelling of the names, captured the exact dialect used by my grandparents and relatives in my youth.
What you convey is so real and exemplifies what has been lost. Without them realizing it, those visits were in today’s lingo therapeutic. It allowed tem to cope with the realities of living in an adopted land. We should all have that natural sense of survival. We should all strive to bring it back. Again, thanks for the exquisite memories.
Thanks, Paul. Like the announcer said, "Familiar names, familiar numbers." Can we get back there? Not sure. Should we? You bet!
This is what is important in our culture. THIS is what needs to be promulgated. Not the stereotypes the bottom feeders like to portray. These are the people we need to write about. These are the people who need to be the role models because they are.
Ed, the tradition of relatives and cousins visiting is lost and shamefully so, we were first drawn away by the malls that took people from their neighborhoods and the city visits. We are a fast-moving nation with our young moving away from home to other states with occupations that didn't exist in the 1930S and 40S.
My wife Ann and I often talk about those days, especially Ann who would visit family with our children when they were young. Ahh, Ed, enjoy those memories and cherish the old photos.
HaHa. Demonic guy possessed by vino!
oh to be back when the neighborhoods were safe and we took the time and not rushing around.
and you look a lot like Vicenzo in the photo.
OK, very funny. I'm thinking you mean my vertical jumping ability 😅
What an interesting story, and bravely told. I recall similar family gatherings, including a family reunion with eight-plus attending. When I was a child, such gatherings were a time to seek attention without noticing anyone. As an adolescent, I developed my cynicism watching and listening to every action or comment to expose foibles. As a young adult, I learned the art of politics to navigate such situations...absorbing what was done and said without judgement, but appreciating the diversity within my family. Whatever social skills I possess grew out of the dynamics of family gatherings and applied them to my current social network. Your writings unearth long forgotten and/or repressed memories that reminds us how we became who we are.
Ben scritto, we'll written. When I was a kid, Larry, I was fascinated by the characters, never realizing until so many years later, their courage and what they did to give us our opportunities. I too learned by observation. I'm pleased I unearthed some memories for you. It sounds like they were good ones by the end product.
Thanks for your comments.
What an utter joy to read your latest on old days visits. Yes, we had many visits with neighbors, relatives, friends, all “recent Old Country “ storytellers!
People walked then, even if it took 20 or 30 minutes to visit. What memories I have!
Thanks, Dr. Ed!
I am pleased I rekindled those memories, Joe. Why did it all seem so much easier?
Hi Ed,
That house was beautiful but yes, I understand the need for downsizing….it’s just easier. Thank you for offering to send your books. I’m sure I’ll love them because I really enjoy your writing style. And yes, please send your schedule….It would be fun to see you live!
My email is melinajbalboni@gmail.com and my address is 310 Palisades Circle, Stoughton, Ma 02072. Looking forward to receiving more of your perspectives!
Got it
In my Brooklyn youth, Granma made tons of meatballs, along with "gravy" (not sauce!) and meatballs. The visitors brought the cannoli, pastaciotte, and sfogliatelle. There were Cumagenni, Margaret Bull (short for her last name, but she did look like one.), Cockeye Louie...and a cast of delightful others. Ah, my cherished childhood. Thanks for there memories, Ed.❤️
Ah yes, ww lived the same lives. Just in different places. I wish I knew The Bull and The Cockeye.
To cherish indeed.
Ed, this lunch bunch article is just as sweet and poignant as the one you wrote about visits. Despite the changes in our appearances or memories, how lucky are we to even be able to do this? I thank the good Lord every day for the ability to get up, have breakfast with my husband, meet a friend for lunch and to reminisce about the wonders of the past.....with an eye toward the future in the hope that there will always be morsels of positivity. Thanks for sharing.
On an unrelated note, I'm not sure if you recall, but my husband and I met you during a walk in Bristol looking for a store get some nice vino, and you were on your porch and gave us directions. You also gave us your book: Whatever happened to Sunday dinner. I still have it and keep it on our coffee table to remind my family of that value and that they pass it on to future generations. So, thank you for that as well. God puts great people in our paths:)
Thanks for your wonderful comments and nice note, Melina. In addition to the breakfast/lunch gatherings, I try to connect with a friend every day.
Yes. I remember you both very well. Sadly, we've downsized from that beautiful home. A necessary rite of passage. Do I have your email? If not, email me your home address and I'll send you my latest books.
I'll also give you a schedule of my presentations. Perhaps you might get to one. A presto.
Another great piece! Brings back memories of growing up in an Italian American family, and the relatives and friends that visited my Nonna. I belong to a Facebook Group called Growing Up
Italian, and I'm always amazed at how member's childhood experiences were so similar to mine.
Sadly, those times are gone...the world is a different place today.
There are so many who share our stories and our great Italian heritage. We should be so proud of it and be sure to sing its praises, especially those our forefathers taught us, Joanne.
Ed, it was September of 1972, and I was running for a school committee seat in a close race. People came voted and left and in came a very elderly man holding onto the door jams before entering to vote and shouted out tutti Italian and not knowing Italian shame on me. I knew enough that I had a sure vote and won in a close race.
Loyal to is heritage
That reminds me of a visitor to my house when I was a child. She too was always in black and lived a walking distance from our house. My mother called her Maria Juan she spoke Italian only, so the conversations I did not understand. She was a very small in stature, not a big woman. She had a very high pitched speaking voice and rather soft spoken. My mom used to make a cup of coffee for her and had something sweet to go along with it. She raised chickens and I remember when she finished and was ready to leave, she stood and would reach into her pockets and pulled out 2 or 3 eggs and put them on the table.
Beautiful description. I can visualize her, Natalie. We all have those wonderful memories. Thanks for sharing
I loved the opportunity to share your recollections and reflections.
Thanks again
Thanks, Roger. Have you written YOUR story yet? Ya gotta have one.
And if you're going to get pastry....better get sfogliatelle! (The ones you've pictured in this great article.) Growing up Italian in this country really made this so relatable. I grew up in a triple decker ....above a fruit store (talk about stink....might be close to your smelly, demonic uncle!).
Your article brought back so many distinct memories and wonderful visits that also happened at my house. You really summed it up perfectly when you wrote: "Consumerism has driven people from their neighbors. Personal lifestyles take precedence over community connections. Families look after their affairs with less concern for their neighbors."
Sadly, it's true, but like you, Ed, I have hope. I think we all long for a time when "just talking and eating pastries" with friends is not only enough, but necessary. It strengthens our connections and gives us tolerance......something that is nearly off the radar now. Thank you for reminding us all to simply, visit!
Thanks for this excellent and perceptive note, Melina. I too have hope that some way, somehow, we may return to the neighborhood visit. We'll see. I wrote about having lunch, coffee, or anything with friends. Call a friend every day. It's not the neighborhood visit in the home but, who knows, it may grow to that. Here's the one I wrote of lunching with friends which you reference as a way to maintain our strengths of community.
https://edwrites.net/p/lunch-with-long-time-friends
Ed, So much of what you say in your story is true and poignant. It is sad that as our society has evolved from those early days, it has seemingly moved on from many of the attributes that indeared them to each other; unnanounced visits by friends or neighbors just to say hi or share their concerns and worries. In those days, people relied on the help and suupport of their friends and neighbors to navigate their way through a myriad of new adventures and problems. In todays world our society too often is fractured and seperated from family and friends, by both distance and or time constraints. Everything today seems to move at 'warp speed' with little time to 'smell the roses'. As a result, so much richness to our lives is being lost. JC Yuill
John, you said it perfectly. . . . endearing attributes lost, sharing concerns and worries, relying on each other for help and support. But most of all so much richness to our lives is being lost
Thank you, Ed. The commonality between our respective childhoods is striking. I found your summation of today's lack of community sadly on point. My immediate family is widely scattered: son in Oregon, brother in Iowa, brother in Illinois. Makes stopping by a real challenge. Again, thanks very much. David Brooks constantly reminds us of the very same lack of community.
I agree, Ed. I doubt we'll ever get the "drop in" moment back. And we also share a love of David Brooks' work.
Great story Ed. Remind me of my childhood as well. In many ways, my immediate family has maintained some of this behavior, but your correct. We used to live in neighborhoods where you could visit easily, or simply talk out to your neighbor through your bedroom window. I agree, not likely that will return for many of us in the suburbs. I'd like to believe it still exist in the urban neighborhoods though.
Mike, I'm so pleased with your comments. Some say I live in the past, and in many instances I do. Yes, there were difficult times, but look how people came together. How refreshing. And safe.
Ed I have been meaning to connect with you. Are you familiar with Hamilton House on Angell Street? Have you ever presented there? I think you'd enjoy the venue. Let me know and I can connect you with the right person.
Mike
I presented there many years ago. I would be happy to do so again. Thanks for thinking of me, Mike.
Ed
Another nostalgic masterpiece with all the familiar nuances. Your phonetic spelling of the names, captured the exact dialect used by my grandparents and relatives in my youth.
What you convey is so real and exemplifies what has been lost. Without them realizing it, those visits were in today’s lingo therapeutic. It allowed tem to cope with the realities of living in an adopted land. We should all have that natural sense of survival. We should all strive to bring it back. Again, thanks for the exquisite memories.
Paul
Thanks, Paul. Like the announcer said, "Familiar names, familiar numbers." Can we get back there? Not sure. Should we? You bet!
This is what is important in our culture. THIS is what needs to be promulgated. Not the stereotypes the bottom feeders like to portray. These are the people we need to write about. These are the people who need to be the role models because they are.
Ed, the tradition of relatives and cousins visiting is lost and shamefully so, we were first drawn away by the malls that took people from their neighborhoods and the city visits. We are a fast-moving nation with our young moving away from home to other states with occupations that didn't exist in the 1930S and 40S.
My wife Ann and I often talk about those days, especially Ann who would visit family with our children when they were young. Ahh, Ed, enjoy those memories and cherish the old photos.
Thanks, Peter. Yes, I cherish the days and doubt we can get back.