How Do You Vote? Try This. Try Using a Touch of Kindness. In the Candidate of Course

A spoonful of sugar . . .

I was chatting with my friend, a school principal for many years and asked him how he chose a teacher from so many qualified applicants.

“Well,” he said, tapping his fingers in rhythm, “ I’ve been doing this for years and I’ve come to this final question for the applicant, ‘Are you kind?’ I want a qualified teacher, but I also want someone nice. These kids have so many issues, and kindness in their teachers takes them a long way in resolving them.”

He gave me pause.

I’ve thought at length about what this wise teacher and administrator told me that evening and wondered how I, or anyone, might apply that value, more likely a treasure, in choosing a political candidate.

Yes, I understand many things must be considered when voting for someone to represent you, not the least of which is ability, competence, experience, policy, and effectiveness in leading and managing. But I am inching kindness closer to the top; integrating it as an essential in my evaluations. I want a leader with balance, where kindness complements other qualities. Right now, it is helping me to choose a candidate with good intentions who can implement change.

Here is an example where a simple act of kindness would have worked well.

Some years ago, I asked a neighbor about hiring someone to do some work. His abrupt response, thumb directed over his shoulder, “Go see this guy. I did him a fayva twenty years ago. He owes me one.”

I bristled, “Twenty years! You mean to tell me that you have a tally sheet and cannot do someone a favor without asking for one in return?”

“C’mon, Kid, That’s the way it is. Ya gotta learn this stuff. And don’t let him screw ya!” Eloquence was lacking in his pessimistic mindset.

“What do I say when I meet him?”

“Ya know. Jes tell ‘im I sent ya. That’s all ya need tuh do. He’ll rememba me.”

Imagine. Tit for tat. Tally for a tally. What happened to giving and expecting nothing in return? With no strings attached. That’s what a gift is.

That’s where KINDNESS fits.

Courtesy of Cosmos Public Images

Aristotle said, “The essence of life is to serve others and do good.”

What do I mean by kindness? Well, it’s not that difficult.

Someone who does a favor and expects nothing in return is kind.

A friendly, generous, dignified, graceful, honest and considerate person is kind.

Someone who doesn’t lie, cheat, name-call, disparage, or act disingenuously is kind.

Someone who thinks before speaking, apologizes when wrong, opens a door and says ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ is kind (Chivalry may be dying but it’s not dead yet).

Ethics and integrity are kind attributes. One who makes decisions based on fairness and justice is kind.

I made an abstract spreadsheet, almost like a final four bracket, and took the definition of kindness, my definition, into account as I applied it to the candidate’s political skills. When I came to my final analysis, and I emphasize MY, this is what evolved;

Kind leaders prioritize the long-term well-being of their constituents.

Kind leaders look to the future to benefit others.

Kind leaders build trust.

Kind leaders win trust.

Kind leaders forgive and never hold a grudge.

Kind leaders listen.

Kind leaders show compassion; and empathy.

“You know,” my friend the principal continued as he softly rolled his eyes to rest under the safety of his bushy eyebrows, looking past me as if to the future, “Kindness isn’t always easy. But it’s the right thing.”

“How is it working in the school?”

“Well, it’s a work in progress. We’re doing better all the time. At least we can see that people are respecting one another.”

“I would guess that’s a huge step.”

He scratched the back of his head. “You bet it is.” He smiled, gripping his fist gently as if to signify, a “W,” a curtain of mist slid down on him. It was joy. It was kindness. He was pleased.

Goodness, then it hit me. We have lost respect for each other. Not one another necessarily, but the other. The other who is different. The other who disagrees. That’s where our kindness will make a difference. When we respect the other. When we respect the other’s beliefs.

I recognize in myself a tendency toward oversimplification. OK. Am I naïve in believing there will be harmony, particularly if there is a bunch of kind people? Will conflicts be more easily resolved? I'll bet. Remember the ole ‘reach-across-the-aisle cliché’?

Mahatma Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”

I say, “Be kind to yourself. Elect kind politicians.”

I’ll bet something good will happen if you do. That would be good.